The holiday season often brings images of joy, laughter, and togetherness. But for many people, Christmas can feel heavy. It can stir up grief, tension, or memories they’d rather leave behind. At Outcare, we understand that this time of year isn’t easy for everyone — and we’re here to help.
Our Therapeutic Lead, Toni Bolte, shares practical ways to navigate the season with care and compassion. These strategies aren’t about making Christmas perfect — they’re about making it gentle enough to get through.
Why Christmas Can Be Hard
For some, family gatherings feel more like obligations than celebrations. There may be people they’d prefer not to see, or traditions that bring stress instead of joy. Others are coping with absence — loved ones separated by distance, broken relationships, or loss. That empty chair at the table can weigh heavily.
Small steps can make a big difference. Setting boundaries, making plans, and focusing on what you can control doesn’t erase the emotion, but it can make it more manageable.
The What, When, and Where of Christmas
WHAT
The “what ifs” can get loud in the lead-up to Christmas:
- What if Uncle starts drinking again?
- What if Mum doesn’t show up?
- What if the kids refuse to go?
These worries can spiral. Naming them, talking them through, and planning for them helps calm the storm. Sometimes, a simple backup plan — like having your own transport or an agreed “exit strategy” — can restore a sense of control.
For young people, the “what ifs” can feel even bigger. If a parent doesn’t turn up for a visit, having a plan for what happens next can soften the blow. Readiness might not bring relaxation, but it brings resilience.
WHEN
Christmas is predictable — the same dates every year. That predictability can be useful. Mapping out the days ahead reduces anxiety and creates structure:
- “Ten days before Christmas, I’ll confirm plans with Mum.”
- “A week before, I’ll remind the kids what Christmas Day will look like.”
For children and young people, calendars or countdowns can help. Predictability doesn’t remove emotion, but it softens the unknown.
WHERE
Where we spend Christmas matters. For some, being in certain spaces feels safe; for others, it doesn’t. Helping people recognise their “window of tolerance” — how long they can stay, who they can be with, and what signs show that window is closing — is key.
It might mean planning to leave early, having transport ready, or creating a quiet space to step away. For young people who spend Christmas with us, we focus on creating a sense of home: shared meals, decorations, small gifts, and laughter with staff. Sometimes, feeling safe and connected is more than enough.
A Gentle Reflection
Christmas isn’t always merry — and that’s okay. For families under strain, for young people in care, and for anyone carrying grief or stress, the season can be complex.
When we help people think through their WHATs, WHENs, and WHEREs, we give them something grounding — a sense of control in an unpredictable time. Maybe the goal isn’t perfection. Maybe it’s simply kindness, and making the season gentle enough to get through.
If you or someone you know needs support during the holiday season, Outcare is here to help, visit https://outcare.com.au/help-is-close
