Tarryn’s story

Tarryn Shaw

When I was young, I left home at an early age. Without any direction or guidance, I quickly found myself in trouble. I was expelled from mainstream school and became involved with alcohol, drugs, and crime, which led to my first encounter with the justice system at the tender age of 13.

By the age of 15, I had become a full-time polysubstance user (using more than one drug), with meth being my primary drug of choice. For the next 14 years, my life spiralled deeper into a lifestyle of drugs and crime. I found myself in violent relationships and became trapped in a cycle of addiction and criminal activities, which ultimately led to my entry into the adult justice system in my early 20s for a series of aggravated burglaries. With leading a life of addiction, incarceration, and domestic violence, I never thought I would live past the age of 19 because the life of crime is not designed for you to win.

While on remand, there was a moment in my cell when I looked around at my life and thought about all the decisions I had made. What have I done? How did I get here? I broke down and cried, “God, if you are real, I can’t do this anymore. Please help me.” Although I went back and forth many times, this was the defining point in my life; I had enough of this life; it was no way to live, I didn’t like who I had become, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Fast forward 10 plus years, and I am living a life I never thought possible, free from all addiction and leading a life full of purpose and direction, life is great. What people may not realise is that I started drug addiction at a young age, growing up seeing the world through the eyes of an addict, was all I had ever known. Living the life, I lead now feels like a dream, and I often have to pinch myself to believe it. Breaking free from that lifestyle takes so much effort, and no one truly understands the silent battles you face as you fight for your freedom from it.

There is a moment I clearly remember during my time of incarceration when I looked out of my cell window and realised that if I died the next day, no one would blink an eye. It would probably be a relief to my family, as my life was such a mess, I thought I was no good to anyone.

Over the past six years, while working in various justice reintegration programs, I frequently reflect on that night. Now, I have the privilege of leading programs that support men, women, and youth in custody as they transition back into the community. I’ve come to realise there are people who genuinely care about people in custody, and I have found that they work at Outcare.

It is a privilege to have the opportunity to lead the justice reintegration programs and work alongside these passionate, driven individuals and I look forward to seeing what 2025 will bring.

Tarryn while first going through drug court